Uncertain Future, Of Course (December 20th, 2021)

 Last night I woke up feeling nauseous and anxious. I also felt like there was a wave of tears building up below the surface.
I made it through a phase where I thought I might vomit, and eventually went back to sleep.
 I struggle sometimes, to know what to share and what not, on a blog or in an email. The more honest a post is the more interesting it is, and the more potentially helpful to others it is. It's also one more thing that your enemies can potentially use against you. It may also keep you from getting hired one day, or getting an apartment.
 I am set to visit family that I have not seen in roughly 30 years.
 It's been made clear that this is a visit, and that there is no chance of me moving into anyone's house or of anyone co-signing  a loan for me to get an apartment. Regarding the latter, I asked, just in case. The answer, again, was no.
 No one owes me a thing. I am a 56 year old man. I am also unemployed with no income. No food stamps, no unemployment benefits, no stocks, nothing. I am using savings.
 I am not sure who would rent me an apartment if I moved. Maybe plenty of people, maybe a few, maybe nobody. I don't know.
 I've not much credit because after I paid off thousands of dollars in credit card debt I never borrowed again. That's a good thing, no matter what anyone says. (That I stopped borrowing, I mean.)
 Here, in NYC, I rent a room in another man's apartment. I cannot work in NYC though. The mayor is dead set against it.
 I refuse to get these shots. One day, the masses may wake up from this mass-hypnosis. (See Mattius Desmet.) I know these are not like the polio vaccine. I know they are dangerous. I know that people taking them are one of the causes, if not the only cause, of this thing continuing to mutate. I know the pharmaceutical industry is cherry-picking what facts they present. I know these things will permanently damage the health of some, many, or even all children that are given them.
 I refuse to submit.
 Will I end up homeless?
 Maybe, one day. I was homeless before, two or three different times, but I was not actively hunted for not getting a "vaccine". Will I be hunted, one day?